Reflection

I remember when I was little, I locked myself in the bathroom to look at me in the mirror and think that I was born to be someone special. I looked at me in the future and couldn't imagine then where I would go, but deep inside me I already felt it. Knew that love will guide me and by going the path of my heart I would fullfill my life. 

When I was little, I saw this very clear. I felt it. I knew it.

And my grandfather wispered it to me all the time, he would be right, I knew.

Then there where a lot of years of life in between. Out in the ocean of daily life. Storms that made all up and down. And happy days full of sunshine. Painfull growing and decisions to go a path in the dark. 

And I learnd that everyone of us is something special. Everyone.

I tried to catch up. Be enough.

Feel enough.

But it is so difficult to explain something with your mind, when your body and heart don't feel it. 

I even tried to fill up this hole of not feeling enough with material things and at some points of my life with eating. 

It is really time to let go. To accept where I am right now in life, with all the ups and downs. To don't run after a better me in the future. To accept myself and my life right now in all the colors and shapes. The white, the black and all the grey in between.

I had a moment this weekend, where I looked late in the night in the mirror, and saw myself again, as something very special, deep connected with my heart and soul with a clear and honest mind of the little girl I was so much years back then.

Reflection