Birthday is a happy day!

My little girl became 4 years old last thursday!
Like I already said, it wasn't easy to gift her something, she has nearly no wishes and loves mostly to play with her playmobils figurine. They are a all time favourite. She is also a very good mummy to her doll and loves to make art and paint.
She is a little princess and I made her a pink tutu she loves to wear. They are very easy to make and you find tutorials all over the internet. My favourite was this here, from treasures for tots.
We ended up giving her some playmobil cows and things out of the farmlife, since we life here we see all over cows, even if we look out of our kitchen window we see inside the farm across the street and can see the cows eating in there. Some clothes, play dough and little things to make art, like new pens and glitter pens and a coloring book.

We discovered some days before her big day, that the circus will be in the city at her birthday and it felt right that she will go there as her big birthday present. Even if her daddy had to work and her big sister went to the circus with her school class, Her and I had a beautiful afternoon, she rode a pony, we've seen the big elephants from very near and ate icecream in the break. It was a beautifull afternoon and party with the hole family in the evening.

Birthday is a happy day!

Daily life

Living in a home full of white and light helps me fill up my energy tank

Our bedroom // A little metal tin to put inside my glitter

In love with selfmade honeycomb balls // Light pink makes everything better

Circus for birthday is perfect // Little white and yellow striped gifts 

 Our place to eat // My best friend

Chocolate cake and a bike for my beloved husbands birthday // Little birthday princess

Honeycomb ball love // Me

 Lake in Vevey (Switzerland) // Perfect pastell colors

Cozy birthday teepee // Elephant love

Daily life

Expand my purpose and daily struggles

I think we all need a purpose.

We need to know that we are useful and important. We want to solve problems and evolve.

If we loose sight of this problems, we sometimes just loose sight of our way we want to go and we don´t see anymore the sense in things, that once helped us, like writing something on my blog or staying healthy and skinny. I lost control and ate again whatever I craved for, without limits, just to fulfill my emptiness. I just wasn´t able to stop eating some chocolate or sweets, luckily I didn´t gained lots of weight back, but I just do not feel healthy and comfortable in my body. 

I bought myself some running shoes and want to go swim in the evening, but I just procrastinate it every day.

I found myself this days stuck with little problems and the took away all my energy. I found myself back in old patterns. I wanted to buy things and this longings stopped my real creative flow. I made myself believe that I can´t blog about my home, until there aren´t all this little details I don´t like yet, fixed. I will not be able to take photos, without buying a new rug or a chandelier for our kitchen. I just stuck with material things and constructed some serious problems in my head. I gave them so much energy, until there wasn´t any space left over for creative projects and until I constructed a real problem out of the nothing.

We made up our perfect little family and have a lovely home.

It just seemed that there wasn´t anymore anything to improve. I know I will learn to speak french, it needs only some time and practice. 

My big girl has a perfect spot in school and they care very well for her, she is happy to go every day. My little girl sleeps in her own bed and doesn´t need her mummy us much anymore as when she was a baby. 

There where I, wrapped in some loneliness and overwhelmed with some freedom I have won again, moving back to this country. After the first fear of the new, came faster as I could prepare, some issues with not being needed and not being useful. 

So in my unconscious I just constructed something to solve and parts to improve, which made me at the same time busy and very unhappy. I ran around, trying to buy things for our home, trying to find things to start crafting again, to start sewing again and it seemed, even to myself, that I´m yet so busy, I don´t have time to blog, make photos, craft or only installing my sewing machine. I grew my wishlist rapidly and tried to occupy my head.

I resisted buying lots of stuff, but the few things I bought, made me feel guilty and a looser. I felt to be sick, sick of longing and wanting things. Sick of wanting more, even if I already have everything and I couldn´t figure out where this came from. I only new it was there, from the morning until the evening there where things I long for in my head and I avoided to look close by. 

It is so painful to see your weak points. It just hurts to admit that you yet not have overcome this deep longing for material things. I just felt shame to be like this. I just did not want to be this nasty and disgusting. We have and own everything and there are so much people around the world that even don´t know if and when the would eat for next and I just think all day long about buying luxury things. 

I even struggled that my husband could love me like this. I thought if he would see this true side of mine, it would disgust him just like me. 

So I tried to hide it. I putted it on the other side of the door and closed this door, but this made it grow even more. It became always bigger and my fear grew together with it.

So I try once again to change. I try to open this door and face it. I try to accept this part of me instead of deny it. Even my husband accept this part of me and loves me for who I am.

So I face it. Here in front of all of you that come along with me on this adventure to knowing ourselves.

Full of braveness and afraid at the same time. 

Here I am.

Letting go of problems I constructed out of the boredom.

Seeking new adventures. Giving to my mind new exercises to grow. Finding a way to share my deep love with the topic of selflove. Writing an ecourse. Slowly and study. Built from ground up and weaving in all the experiences I gathered up over the years.

Using my time in a constructive and positive way and give the space to the things in my life that let me grow and really feel better, not the things that give me a energy kick for a short instant.

Expand my purpose and daily struggles

Salt and pepper for your look

Accessories is what changes your boring outfits.
You can make look and feel interesting nearly every piece out of your warderobe with choosing accessories that are special to you. A clock that you love, a ring that makes you feel oh so elegant or a colorful scarf.
You look how you feel.
Use a gentle scent that makes you feel the way you want. My favourite two at the moment are Halle Berry, Reveal and J. Lo, Glow. I feel they fit to me and who I am.
I love to go to a perfume store and try some new scents and yes, I always also look to feel that the bottle is aesthetic.

I love some gold, in a subtile way, like in my watch or the details of my cameo necklaces.

Feeling special with a little hairclip, necklace, ring or scarf that tells a story, makes the difference. I often use a color I would never wear all in its own, but I love in little doses.

I don´t use any make up since a very long time, my skin is very sensitive and I just feel so much more comfortable beeing pure.

Salt and pepper for your look

Birthday party inspiration

My little girl becomes one year older in 9 days. Time pass so fast and she will already be 4. I love her over the moon and as a mamma I´m already planning how should look her day. It looked like this last year.
There should be cake, muffins and sweets. Smarties and lots of pastellcolors, she loves yellow. Cakepops and stripes. Balloons and her birthday teepee. Tassels, pompoms and honeycomb balls.

I already made a first version of a honeycomb ball, in lavender lilac and I really love how it came out, I will make some in all sizes for her birthday and our home.
Tissue and napkin pom poms are a must have for birthdays and I will fill our living room with them.

I found some good tutorials for honeycomb balls, they aren't as difficult as one imagine, but they need a little time and patient.
This diy tutorial from mr. printables blog is my favourite, this watercolor honeycomb balls from eye heart pretty things are just lovely and this party invitation from studio diy is just a sweet idea. Design and Form shows how to craft your honeycomb ball out of a napkin and also how to make napkin pom poms. Here you find some beautiful color combinations for honeycomb balls on the blog of papillion and peony. Mini honeycombs in beautiful pastell colors from studio diy, love them and will make some.

I have a hard time when it comes to presents, our girls just have everything they need.

We are all so overfull with material things, I just can't stand it and I really think our kids become everything they can imagine. My girl doesn't even have a wish and she really don't need lots of things to play. She inventes new games every day. 

I think we will just stick with some easy things, because unwrapping a gift or two at your birthday surley is something very special if you are so little. Maybe some clothes, a beautiful and warm pair of shoes, rainbow colored pencils and some play dough. Lets see if I come along some nice little things she would love in the next nine days. 

I will also make some new cushions for her bed and I'm even thinking whipping up a quilt, some clothes for her or her babydoll and I hope to come along the perfect idea in the next days.

Has anyone of you a good idea?

Birthday party inspiration

Daily life

Beautiful coffee cup // This dog is a real gentle soul

Washing the sheets // The little lake nearby

Homedecor inspiration while drinking coffee // Best friends

Outside the bathroom // Yellow makes me happy and a little poor butterfly

Evening sun in the living room // Home cinema

More living room bliss // Rocking chair from my beloved grandfather

Living space // Our big terrace

Eating nook // New and elegant watch

Settling in my studio // Heavenly breakfast

Sleeping beauty // Planning how to decorate

Daily life

Coming around the corner

If I'm not aware, old habits come around the corner.
Again and again, it seems.

It is a big challenge to stay healthy and balanced in this first time here at this new place. My husband has to let grow roots in his new work and I'm here for our girls. I walk our dogs. I do the daily stuff in another language. It feels like a coming back to my homecountry, but it is in the same way so different. Living in italy for almost five years changed my perspective.
I see the society with other eyes. I'm braver now to look close and learned to see.
Abunduance has clearly his two sides. Switzerland is a rich country, you are insured in many ways, there is support for nearly everything.
On the other side you don't need to force any relationsships, you don't have this deep need for it. You are alone, often. Better to not open to much, everyone has his secrets behind the doors and his weak points under the rug.

So the days run by, the fear of not doing enough or beeing enough sometimes come back to visit my mind. I try to don't open the door to all this negative feelings, but sometimes they stay outside and only wait for a weak moment to come in without even ask me.
It's a battle, but this is what live is about, no?

French is so elegant and gentle, I'm already in love with this beautiful language. I seek to learn it in all it's perfectness.

Coming around the corner